


Only A Word

by OnceUponADestiel (Jems_of_Grace)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Deleted Scene, Episode: s10e14 The Executioner's Song, M/M, Oneshot, unaired scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-12
Updated: 2015-09-12
Packaged: 2018-04-20 09:36:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4782548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jems_of_Grace/pseuds/OnceUponADestiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Coda fic to that infamous unaired scene from The Executioner's Song.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Only A Word

**Author's Note:**

  * For [beautyofnight](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=beautyofnight).



> Wrote this for [beautyofnight](http://beautyofnight.tumblr.com/) who requested a fic for the infamous unaired scene from The Executioner's Song. If you haven't seen it, it can be found [here](http://onceuponadestiel.tumblr.com/tagged/deleted-scenes).

Crowley's words continued to grate Cas on the journey back the bunker. He knew it was stupid, far more serious things had things had taken place since then and it was pointless to dwell on the demon's words. It had been his intention after all to provoke him and there was no reason that Cas should allow such petty remarks to get to him.

For all intents and purposes, it was nothing personal; Crowley was just fulfilling his duty as a demon - getting under his skin as much as thoroughly possible.

But it felt personal and having someone purposefully step on your nerves is just as infuriating for an angel as it is for anyone else. Especially when that nerve came in the form, as it so often did, of Dean Winchester.

_'Looking a little wan there, Cassie,' Crowley had said, strolling past in a casual manner that might suggest them to be comfortable acquaintances and certainly didn't speak of enemies. 'How's that grace of yours holding up?' and Cas knows he asks less out of concern and more out of a desire to be as well informed as possible and failing that just to irritate._

_'It's fine, Crowley. I'm fine,' but the reality is written in the strained set of his shoulders and the dark shadows beneath his eyes which suggest a tiredness that can't be satisfied by a good nights sleep._

_Of course, Crowley being Crowley can't just leave it like that and has to live up to that horrible habit of stepping straight into the kinda crap Cas would much rather evade._

_'Sure. The clock's ticking again, isn't it? So heroic. Running errands all over the U.S... Burning through that rather finite supply of grace... All in a desperate effort to save your boyfriend.'_

_It takes a_ desperate effort _at this point to not simply smite Crowley then and there._

_He's managed to avoid looking at him so far but the way he said that word, rolling it off his tongue in an obvious ploy to gall him..._

_As an angel he should be above this, rising to Crowley's bait, after all it's not like he hasn't had dealings with the demon before, he knows how he works. And something as pathetic as this... doesn't stop Cas acknowledging that it stings just the same and he finds himself biting back._

_'What about you Crowley? Dropping everything... bringing the first blade... Surely it cost you something to be here?' he turned to stare at him as he said, 'Maybe he's your boyfriend.' He manages to get the rebuff out without choking on his own words, without so much as a tremble but he can't look at the demon anymore. He stares back down at his bag feeling sick to the stomach._

_He needs to ignore Crowley, as he should have done the second he walked in but that doesn't stop him hearing his somewhat distant response, edged with melancholy, 'He's not my type.'_

_He tries to stop the relief but it's impossible. Stupid but impossible. He shouldn't care. But he does._

_It was difficult to believe that Crowley was being honest, after all there was no doubt in Cas's mind, Crowley_ had _been interested in Dean. Very interested. Why else would he have spirited him away like that as soon as he went demon? But maybe the reality of Dean in his demonic form had changed something in Crowley... forced to live up to the realities of a demon Winchester couldn't be easy. Maybe he'd lost interest..._

_The trouble lay in the fact that Dean had fallen pray to Crowley's meddling before - did that make him more susceptible to it again? With that mark still clearly brandished into his arm, he would have to say yes, the allure would always be there and Cas was left feeling frustratingly aware of how little there is he can do about it._

_Maybe things will be different after Cain is dealt with..._

The bunker came into sight and Cas parked his car up behind the Impala. The brother's would already be inside. His thoughts weren't any calmer even now Cain _had_ been dealt with. The blade was hidden and now all that remained of the day was to be sure that Dean was okay, that killing Cain hadn't tipped him back over that edge...

Maybe when they finally remove that mark... maybe...

But he's not entirely sure himself what that would change with regard to Crowley's remark. He'd gone off track, half forgetting where this train of thought had started off until Crowley's voice echoed in his head again ' _...save your boyfriend'_ and wasn't that just ridiculous? The word rolled distastefully out of his demonic mouth like it was meant to be some kind of insult. Cas didn't find it insulting. Quite the reverse. Crowley's only point in saying it had been to step on a nerve and to Cas's dismay, it had worked, cut him deeper than he'd like to admit. He doubted his retaliatory response had so much as grazed. 

It was only a word, a label invented by humans in these modern times. He knew this but he also knew the kind of attachment humans gave these things.

So yes, it was only a word but it was a word that unsettled him. Irksome even because it suggested something that to humans at least was half-way to normal. Normal in a way that Cas doubted Dean would ever have. And the idea of he being on the receiving end of such a relationship was frankly laughable. Conjuring images of easy smiles, open displays of affection and a kind of central warmth not easily shaken. This was not a life Cas could ever imagine as his own. 

A life with a shared bed, waking up amidst tangled limbs and the warmth of shared body heat. A life where every time they greeted each other, a kiss might be exchanged, a silent communication of _I missed yous_ and _I love yous_ and _I need yous_. A life of entwined fingers and sidelong glances, a language that only they could understand... all the unspoken rituals of a long term relationship, a life shared side by side...

Yes, that was the life Castiel couldn't imagine.

It wasn't uncommon, he figured... angels are known for having very little in the way of imagination...

Didn't stop him yearning for every second of it...

 


End file.
